Connect, Communicate, Repair & Renew Romance
Feeling worried about the health of your marriage? Take heart!
You can repair your marriage and learn to relate in healthy ways. You can learn to communicate effectively and express your heartfelt needs. You can feel safe, secure and loved in a long-lasting, deeply satisfying marriage. I have helped many couples ‘upgrade their relationship software’ with SMART marriage secrets. Many couples have struggled with painful issues that you may be dealing with right now. They’ve learned to transform negative habits from the past into smart, effective new behaviors that support vibrant, passionate marriage. No matter what stage of marriage you’re in, for most issues that come forward, skilled and effective marriage counseling can help you reconnect with your loving.
What if my spouse won’t agree to come in with me?
If your spouse won’t come in, that’s ok – come in by yourself. I often work with one spouse, to heal wounds and improve his or her marriage skills. One motivated spouse can learn new skills and be so different at home that the marriage begins to improve, and the other partner becomes encouraged, curious and motivated enough to attend.
Early in your marriage, fighting… and worried?
If you’ve just been married for a couple of years, and you’re fighting a lot, I encourage you to take effective positive action now. The second stage of committed relationship after ‘the honeymoon stage’ is ‘the power struggle stage’. It’s normal to find yourselves struggling and negotiating lots of details that didn’t come up before. But, couples who don’t learn to successfully complete the power struggle stage with their love intact, often end up divorcing. They didn’t know how to communicate with love and respect, and got discouraged. My Collaborative Marriage Skills program is a great communication learning tool. Used by hundreds of thousands of premarital couples around the country over the past 30 years, it’s proven and effective.
In the middle of it all, dealing with kids, careers, stress, conflicts… and discouraged?
It’s not easy to create and maintain a great marriage over time these days. There are so many moving parts… and so many threats, distractions, and competing intentions for our time and energy. But marriage is important – for the individuals who had a vision for a loving marriage on their wedding day, and made a commitment… for children created … and for the community.
Issues like an affair, poor communication, verbal abuse, struggles over money or parenting, sexual disconnection, substance abuse, anger, a major disappointment or health challenge can threaten the marriage and result in resentment, hurt, or feeling unappreciated. So we begin with where you are. No matter what has happened – Come in! I believe I can help you recover.
After many years together, are you feeling disconnected…or alone?
Just when you want to relax, a long married couple can enter a difficult phase. The kids are grown, you have time to turn toward each other again, and new challenges emerge. Maybe you were too busy with family and work to maintain your closeness. Maybe sex has become rare, and connecting again seems hard. Maybe you’ve both changed, and don’t know how to reach each other. Outsiders may threaten your commitment and an affair can happen. Even if the situation seems bad, you can still repair and renew your marriage and your romance.
Committed couples haven’t married, but both share a deep commitment. They may be a domestic partnership, or have a personal agreement. As commitment is a key foundation for most successful, secure long term relationships, sometimes when an issue erupts, this couple may have some surprising challenges regarding security and safety to work through. I can help.
Dating & Deciding About Commitment
I work with couples in all phases of commitment. Dating couples trying to decide if this relationship is ‘the one’ are experiencing a vulnerable and tender phase in their relationship. As a caring professional, I can you at this time. It’s important to explore what each person’s requirements and needs are, and to explore whether there are any possible ‘deal breakers’ that are below the surface, and not visible to one or both people. I’ll empower you both to voice your fears and concerns, and usually, once they are expressed, seeing solutions becomes easier.
Couples counseling is about two individuals taking responsibility for their own behaviors and beliefs, and making changes so their relationship can thrive. My approach is collaborative, respectful, and practical. I have a ‘coaching style’ and will teach you effective ways to talk, listen, express caring, and resolve issues and conflicts.
Today’s marriages require the same caring maintenance that our valued possessions and activities receive. Everyone benefits from a ‘marriage software upgrade’. As a marriage friendly counselor, I believe in marriage. I’m convinced that most marriages can overcome challenges, and come alive with loving again. I’m right here with you, supporting, listening and offering tools and skills that have worked for thousands of other successful couples.
I can help you upgrade your ‘marriage software’. Call me for a complimentary 15 minute telephone consult and start solving your relationship problem today.